When I Turned Fifty, I Became Invisible
This is something I had heard from older women before but hadn't really taken seriously. After all, I was never going to age, right? I would defeat the monsters of time and remain young and cool forever. That's what I truly believed.
But at fifty, I became invisible.
What do I mean by this? Perhaps if you're a woman of my age, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.
I'm not noticed anymore. I walk into a shop, and I'm background color. I enter a bar or a restaurant, and it's the same story. Now, let me explain - obviously, I'm still noticed. I have a presence, and people do see me, but it's different somehow. The looks I used to get were just... different.
I look at the younger people around me, and this world is made for them. It's built for youth, not for those of us with a few more miles on the odometer.
Generations before us became older a lot quicker. They succumbed to the belief they were old, dressed like it, acted like it. I believed I would be different, and to an extent, Gen X is aging differently. But for women, it's so much harder.
We've always been judged on our appearance - our weight, our looks, our clothes. Society has been tough on women, and the aging process is no different. We're seen as no longer needed. We don't have the sex appeal of younger generations, and we can't bear children anymore. It's like we've been put out to pasture.
Many women my age and older have done work on their bodies and faces. To be honest, they do look pretty, but at the end of the day, they don't look young. They just look like older women with a more polished exterior.
I never realized moving into my mid-fifties would be as difficult as it is because, again, I didn't believe I would ever get old or look old. But I see it and feel it. I do things slower. I say silly things that only older people say, which I can't believe I'm doing, but I do.
But this can't all be doom and gloom. How do we navigate this new terrain? I don't want to dress like I'm thirty or have Botox to look thirty. I want to look fifty, but I need my mind to accept that the aging process is natural. I need to learn how to be fifty in a world where youth and appearance are everything.
I was watching a video of Brad Pitt at a Cannes opening, and yeah, even our peer film idols are getting old too. We all are. It's part of life.
I want to embrace my age, soften into the aging process, and allow myself to be the wiser and stronger woman that I've become. I want to enjoy walking around a museum slowly. I want to learn the art of slow - slow cooking, slow music, slow love.
I want to savor life's moments, not rush through them like I did in my youth. There's a beauty in slowing down, in taking the time to really taste that first sip of morning coffee, to feel the warmth of the sun on my face as I read a book in the garden.
But it's not just about slowing down physically. It's about embracing a new kind of strength – the kind that comes from decades of experience, of weathering life's storms and coming out the other side. We've earned our battle scars, our laugh lines, our silver streaks. Each one tells a story, and those stories are worth celebrating.
Sure, society might try to make us feel irrelevant, but we're not. We're the backbone of families, the mentors in workplaces, the voices of reason in a chaotic world. We've got wisdom to share, and it's high time we owned that.
So, how do we navigate this new terrain? We start by redefining beauty on our own terms. Beauty isn't just smooth skin and perky breasts – it's confidence, it's kindness, it's the sparkle in our eyes when we laugh with our friends. It's the grace with which we handle life's curveballs, the strength we show when facing adversity.
We can embrace our age by investing in ourselves – not just in creams and treatments, but in experiences. Learn that language you've always wanted to speak, take that art class, start that blog. Our brains are still capable of incredible things, and there's something empowering about proving that to ourselves.
Let's build a community of women who lift each other up, who celebrate each other's successes and support each other through the tough times. Let's be the role models we wish we had when we were younger – showing the next generation that life doesn't end at 50, it just enters a new, exciting chapter.
Yes, we might be invisible to some, but to those who matter – to ourselves, to our loved ones, to those who recognize true value – we're more visible than ever. We're shining examples of resilience, of growth, of the beauty that comes with embracing every stage of life.
So here's to being fifty and fabulous. To walking slowly through museums and savoring every brushstroke. To cooking meals that simmer all day, filling our homes with warmth and love. To relationships that are deep and meaningful, not fleeting and superficial. To being comfortable in our own skin, wrinkles and all.
We may not be young anymore, but we're far from done. We're just getting started on the best chapter yet. And trust me, it's going to be one hell of a ride.
Gail x
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